Mind Reader

Do you ever wish you could read someone's mind? In some cases it seems life would be a lot easier if we could simply read the mind of the person we're trying to communicate with on any given subject. Yet we know that's not possible. So how should we communicate effectively, especially with the ones we love the most?

I learned a process this summer that on the surface is very simple to implement. But, if you intentionally use it, you'll find that the execution is a lot harder than it sounds. It's called the Imago (Latin for image, or likeness/resemblance) process and is generally used for couples. I think it can be applied to just about any two parties wishing to communicate with one another.

1. Mirror what the other person is saying. An example is if a person tells you they need a drink of water, mirror what they are telling you (their specific need) verbally. Person A: "I need a drink of water." Person B: "You need a drink of water." This allows Person A to feel secure that Person B understands them and is clear on the expectation and the need.

2. Empathize with the other person. Example: Person B tells Person A: "I know what it's like to need water. I've been thirsty too."

That's it folks. Looks simple, right? Go ahead, try it and see how it works for you. I find that once I get to a place of really trying to understand the other person in the conversation I can generally empathize with them and ultimately communicate with them productively. Otherwise it could easily turn into a fight...and that's no good for anybody. I encourage each of you to simply listen, mirror and empathize with almost anyone you meet. After all, don't we all enjoy being listened to and understood?

Urgent Care

Have you ever been to an Urgent Care type facility? You know the ones -- they're open 24 hours, are usually in a shopping center, have one do-it-all doctor on duty with a few nurses and an intake coordinator. There is one called Emerus right here on Highway 380 in front of Savannah that I have frequented for everything from a kidney stone to gout. Now I can't stand going to the doctor, but if I'm in bad enough shape I don't hesitate to go to Emerus. The staff at Emerus has always cared for and diagnosed me quickly and efficiently without judgment (I mean if you're going to judge somebody I'd think a 34 year old with gout would be a good place to start!).

Lately I find myself gravitating towards people that care for me quickly, efficiently and perhaps most importantly without judgment. I've been through a lot these past five months. This summer seemed to be just one crisis after another. I rarely got to enjoy something as simple as a Rangers game (Rangers in 5 #WorldSeries) or going to the lake. Couple each crisis with doses of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications and you've got yourself a party! Not really, it's miserable. How did I make it through?

Obviously the first answer is only by the grace of God. He never wavered nor abandoned me. He was always with me despite how I felt about Him or the circumstances of the day.

The second answer is close friends who care enough to get in my face when needed; enough to provide a tender touch on the shoulder or hug at just the right time (rule #1 [don't touch Dane] went out the window); enough to love and cherish me in such a way that they hurt when I hurt, they cry when I cry, they listen when I need to talk, they sit in silence when I just need to be around people in peace, they nurture me, they make sure I'm healthy, they are concerned with my son's well-being, they even make sure I don't mix up my medications in such a way that could cause some sort of reaction.

So take it from me, if you find people that care for you in these ways then my advice is to stick by them....forever. They might get frustrated with you from time-to-time, they might make you angry; but in the end they are the ones that stand by you. We all need people like that in our lives. All you have to do is look vertically to see the person who loves you most. When you look horizontally make sure what you see staring back at you in the eye is someone that cares.

Doritos

What's your favorite kind of Doritos? I realize I'm making an assumption that you even like Doritos. But really, who doesn't like Doritos? They are by far my favorite chips and have been for years. My two favorite flavors are Nacho Cheese & Spicy Nacho. So why the heck am I talking about Doritos?

No, it's not because I'm a recovering fat guy and have a serious Doritos craving right now.

No, it's not because Wednesday's are my day to fast with my small group, Up Yours (yes, that's the name of the small group I lead), and I'm STARVING!

Doritos, to me, offer a great illustration on what I consider to be people of great character. Hang in there with me, I'm coming to a point.

Nacho Cheese - this flavor has been around for years. I remember eating them as a kid. They haven't changed to my knowledge. Yet, even after all this time, I still look for them first on the chip aisle. It's really because they don't change, they're reliable, and they are always excellent. Isn't a person of great character much the same way? They don't change their feelings or thoughts based on outside influences -- they're true to themselves. A person of great character is also reliable. You can always count on them in every way for everything. It doesn't matter what you ask them to do, if they say they're going to do it you can take it to the bank. And they of course are always excellent. A person of great character puts excellence first in all they do. They make sure no detail goes unchecked...especially details about those they care about most. Yeah -- I like hanging out with nacho cheese people.

Spicy Nacho - this flavor is relatively new. I'm sure it's been around for a few years, but when compared to nacho cheese they are "new". The spicy nacho flavor has a serious kick and aftertaste. A person of great character can be described much the same way. They have a kick to them -- in other words they are a lot of fun, sometimes surprising and always leave you wanting more. I absolutely love being with a spicy nacho person. They build on their nacho cheese roots to make life fun.

So there's my very deep, very theological argument on why Doritos should be your favorite chips and people.

Anybody else hungry?

T Time

Do you ever feel like you want to push a big PAUSE button on your life so you can take a breath? Or have you felt that even a vacation wouldn't help you because the very nature of a vacation is that it has to end at some point? Yeah, me too. There's a word for that feeling -- overwhelmed.

As I figure out how to have a new "normal" in my life and Clay's I've felt overwhelmed. Two jobs, single dad, new home, new car, new life...where does that "normal" word fit into all this?

Here's the thing: it doesn't.

What I've found is that the only thing that never changes is God. He's the one constant. He is faithful to me despite my feelings towards Him on any given day. He's faithful to me despite my circumstances. He's faithful to me despite my sense of being consistently overwhelmed. He's faithful to me despite my sin. He's faithful to me despite my insecurities. He's faithful to me.

So I'm trying something new. I've come up with a thing called "T Time" to help me get through each day. What's the "T" you ask?

"T" in the Greek alphabet is "tau". This was used as a symbol for life or resurrection by the ancient Greeks. So my "T Time" is simply "life" or "resurrection" time. It's a time of renewal. A time of examining how God is faithful to me every day. I wake up in the morning trying to think of a way to get some "T Time" in my day. It doesn't happen every day which makes it that more special when I do get it. It's my personal time with the one who loves me most. Once "T Time" is done that overwhelming life-grind doesn't seem so bad.

The life-grind serves a purpose. It gets me to my next "T Time".

Thank you God for "T Time"!!!

Football Time

It's football time in TX. That means the Longhorns get to be jealous of the Crimson Tide; the Sooners get to run all over the Big XII; Pastor Brad gets to live vicariously through the Prosper High School football team; and Upward begins!

I think the last one is the most fun. Upward flag football is in full swing. Their first practice was last night. Clay had a blast. Of course he has a great coach, Matt Jennings, who makes all of us over-30 guys look really bad. Matt could go run a marathon at any given moment. I could eat a dozen doughnuts at any given moment. I guess we all have our unique talents.

I'm very proud and impressed with our Upward leadership this year. The fearless director, Tamara Seivert, is doing a great job of communicating and organizing the league. The commissioners (David Seivert, Beth Oliver, Jerry Brawner) are doing a fantastic job of training and motivating their coaches and refs. This is our third Upward football season and no doubt will be the best.

As I've shared with each Upward leader, the main focus of this season is to win as many families to Christ as possible --- period. It's not improving football or cheer skills. It's not winning games. It's simply Jesus. If we keep Him out front we'll have a successful season.

Let's Try This Again...

So my blog hiatus was a little longer than expected. I know you all missed me, but no worries -- I'm back! The last four months have been...well quite frankly if you want to know how they've been then you're just going to have to wait for the "Treatment" series coming to COC starting September 25th. I'll preach a 3-week series dealing with issues like depression, anxiety and insecurity. I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you how God has brought me through and continues to work in my life daily. He can and WILL do the same for you. It'll be a tough series, but I can guarantee it will be powerful.

I do want to say thank you to my unbelievably supportive COC family. Clay and I are simply overwhelmed at the outpouring of love, generosity and kindness shown to us. You see I have some serious abandonment issues from my past and my present situation; the leadership and people of COC have stepped up to the plate and almost eliminated those issues for me.

I've got a fire in my belly (which by the way is quite a bit smaller now....my goal is to weigh less than Pastor Brad) to reach people for Christ unlike any fire that's ever burned. I know and see each day how He pulls me through. He promises to do the same for all of His children. So I'll start right now.

If you find yourself in a precariously lonely, depressing, hopeless situation and all you have to cling to is a person (in other words -- not Jesus), then you're clinging to the wrong thing. That person will let you down and can't provide what only your Heavenly Father can deliver. It's possible that your situation is caused by your own sin. While sin can cause depression, just because you're in a depression doesn't mean you've sinned. More on that in the Treatment series.

A very special thanks goes to the COC Army that moved my house last weekend. It took them 1 hour to load my entire house, including everything in the attic and backyard, and less than 30 minutes to unload it. There was a fantastic team of ladies on Sunday that cleaned the "old" house in record time and made it sparkle. I know that had to be a gross job. I was told to stay out of the way and I sure as heck didn't argue. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many great, Godly people. If you're not, you need to find some new friends ASAP.

Thanks for hanging out during my blog hiatus. I hope you'll continue to read in the coming weeks as I've got some amazing things God has done in my life to share!

Until next time...

Hiatus

My blog is going on an extended hiatus. I'll be back in a few months.

In the meantime, I highly recommend the following blogs:

www.brad-wilkerson.com (Pastor Brad Wilkerson, COC Metro)

blog.powerpoint.org (Pastor Jack Graham, Prestonwood)

www.stevenfurtick.com (Pastor Steven Furtick, Elevation Church)

www.perrynoble.com (Pastor Perry Noble, Newspring Church)

Thanks, I'll see you soon.