Mind Reader

Do you ever wish you could read someone's mind? In some cases it seems life would be a lot easier if we could simply read the mind of the person we're trying to communicate with on any given subject. Yet we know that's not possible. So how should we communicate effectively, especially with the ones we love the most?

I learned a process this summer that on the surface is very simple to implement. But, if you intentionally use it, you'll find that the execution is a lot harder than it sounds. It's called the Imago (Latin for image, or likeness/resemblance) process and is generally used for couples. I think it can be applied to just about any two parties wishing to communicate with one another.

1. Mirror what the other person is saying. An example is if a person tells you they need a drink of water, mirror what they are telling you (their specific need) verbally. Person A: "I need a drink of water." Person B: "You need a drink of water." This allows Person A to feel secure that Person B understands them and is clear on the expectation and the need.

2. Empathize with the other person. Example: Person B tells Person A: "I know what it's like to need water. I've been thirsty too."

That's it folks. Looks simple, right? Go ahead, try it and see how it works for you. I find that once I get to a place of really trying to understand the other person in the conversation I can generally empathize with them and ultimately communicate with them productively. Otherwise it could easily turn into a fight...and that's no good for anybody. I encourage each of you to simply listen, mirror and empathize with almost anyone you meet. After all, don't we all enjoy being listened to and understood?